It's widely acknowledged that the time to think about estate-planning or writing your will is well before you think you'll need one. Whether it's a marriage, the birth of a first child, a sudden windfall or financial success, an illness, the death of a parent or other loved one, or any other life changing event, we're often faced with the prospect of addressing this issue far sooner than we ever expected. It can be a daunting process because it not only requires that we confront the fact of our own mortality, but also causes us to take a serious look at how we have lived, whom we have affected and been affected by, and the legacy we want to leave behind.
Luckily there are lots of experts out there ready to help us get our financial and legal affairs in order: lawyers and wealth advisors who can apprise us of our options and ensure that our tangible assets are distributed in a way that gives us peace of mind. But what about all of the intangible characteristics, experiences, and beliefs that constitute a large part of our lives? How can we ensure that the qualitative portion of our lives is not lost to our loved ones and descendants?
This month's Family Philanthropy Teleconference event on October 20th: Ethical Wills: Passing on a Philanthropic Legacy with author Susan Turnbull will look at this increasingly popular method of documenting one's personal legacy. The discussion will include an exploration of what an ethical will is and does, and how creating one can help you and your family examine its past, present, and future. To participate, you can register online, or call the National Center at 202.293.3424. FP Online Subscribers, their community members, and Friends of the Family may register for free by logging into FP Online.
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To be faithful to ourselves, we must keep our ancestors
and posterity within reach and grasp of our thoughts and affections, living
in the memory and retrospect of the past, and hoping with affection and care
for those who are to come after.
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An ethical will or personal legacy statement is an ancient Hebraic tradition of passing on the substance of a person's emotional life, including their accomplishments, failures, aspirations, fears, lessons learned, and hopes for the future. The oldest example of this oral practice, which can be found documented in the Old-Testament book of Genesis, describes how Jacob, on his death bed, lays out his wishes for burial, along with his hopes for each of his 12 sons. Ancient examples, such as this one, focus on dispensing advice: reminding children to respect their remaining elders, or to have faith in God, or invest in their education, and in casting hopes for loved ones' futures. Their tones range from loving and instructive, gently scolding and admonishing to downright scathing. In the Middle Ages this practice of passing on one's life experiences, lessons-learned, and hopes for the future made the transition from oral into written form.
12th and 14th Century examples
While many ethical wills today do still mix logistical or practical information with advice or anecdotes, you should bear in mind that an ethical will is not a legal document. An ethical will is not intended to replace a traditional will or to address the division of one's property. It can be helpful, however, to use an ethical will to communicate information that may be vital to the person handling your affairs, such as:
As Turnbullthe author of The Wealth of Your Life: A Step-By-Step Guide for Writing Your Ethical Willpoints out, an ethical will is more about what you want your loved ones to know or have in a figurative sense than about what you want them to inherit in a literal sense. Many people choosing to craft personal legacy statements todayranging in age from their 20s to their 90shave embraced the practice as a chance to do more than communicate practical information. Many are choosing ethical wills or personal legacy statements as a way of imparting some of their wisdom and experiences to their loved ones: as a way of telling their stories.
Family philanthropies spring up where a family's good fortune or financial success meets its ideals and values. All family philanthropies start with an idea, a hope, and a belief that change in the world is possiblea donor with a desire to make a difference and the resources to do so. During the founding donor's lifetime it is easy for successors or others working with them to determine what their goals and aspirations for the family philanthropy are just by observing to whom he or she decides to give, when, and how. Once a donor is no longer present to attest to their wishes, though, their successors may be left to ponder what the appropriate course of action might be.
To ease feelings of doubt and stave off future conflicts surrounding their philanthropy, many donors choose to draft donor legacy statements, which are the philanthropic equivalent of ethical wills. Both documents discuss the values, experiences, and beliefs that have shaped the author, the values they wish to pass along to descendents, and what their hopes are for future generations. In an age when families are spread across the nation and all over the world, and in which a second or third generation of family members may have had few opportunities to interact with the founding donor, having a written statement of philanthropic values can provide needed guidance during times of decision. Additionally, having this sort of document increases the chances that geographically separated family members, collaborating on their philanthropy from afar, will share an understanding of the goals toward which they are striving.
Keep in mind though that the world in which you founded your philanthropy is not necessarily the world in which it will always operatein fact, as philanthropists we hope that it won't be; that some social ills will be cured by our work and the work of grantees and that positive change is occurring. By leaving behind a personal legacy statement, and ensuring that your successors are aware of what has been important to you and your family, they will be better equipped to make decisions that could fulfill your philanthropy's goals. The purpose of drafting an ethical will or donor legacy statement is not to bind your family to the past in a way that is restrictive or cumbersome, but rather to add to your collective family history and to enable them to write their own chapters.
For starters, consider what about the idea of an ethical will or personal legacy statement appeals to you and what you hope to accomplish by completing one. These goals might include:
to supplement or personalize the terms of your existing, traditional will
to document your family's history or your own life experiences
to reach out to loved ones with whom you have lost touch
to re-affirm the relationships with those closest to you
to share your hopes for the future of your family and its philanthropy
Be yourself. You're not trying to win a Pulitzer Prize here;
this is your chance share with your loved ones the person you are and how you
hope to be remembered.
Composing your ethical will, although it may be difficult at
first, needn't be cumbersome or depressing. Think of your personal legacy as another
valuable gift you leave your loved ones.
Keep in mind that your words are powerful. Certainly you want to
be honest about your life experiencesboth successes and failuresbut
negativity can be counterproductive and hurtful. Consider wisely what you commit to
paper.
Take your time. Your personal legacy statement doesn't need to
be written all at once. Feel free to revisit and redraft this document as time
passes and you learn and experience new things.
Consider sharing your personal legacy statement or ethical will with family members while you are able. You'll be glad you did, and you may even learn something about yourself, your life, and your legacy.
Association of Personal Historians
A Fresh Definition of Inheritance Comes into Vogue by Stacy A. Teicher, Christian Science Monitor
Gift of a Lifetime by Carolyn See, AARP Magazine.
Living the Legacy: Values of a Family's Philanthropy Across Generations by Charles H. Hamilton.
So That Your Values Live On: Ethical Wills and How to Prepare Them Edited by Rabbi Jack Riemer & Professor Stampfer
Story Time by Darlene Siska
The Wealth of Your Life: A Step-By-Step Guide for Writing Your Ethical Will
by Susan Turnbull
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